Me,Myself and I

My bags are all packed, it’s a beautiful sunny day, yet it’s cloudy on the inside,
I still don’t understand this feeling of emptiness that haunts me, unbelievably numb, not a single feeling.
I should be on cloud number nine by now, skipping from excitement but that’s not what I am doing, instead I chose to stay calm, cool and collected, in an attempt to avoid any bumps in the road, any predicted disappointments and any down hills.
I know that I am not that much loved; I can tell the difference between those who truly love me for me and others that are after an interest, the problem is that they don’t realize that I have nothing to offer them. I am ME. Yes as simple as that.
For someone that is emotionally crippled, it is hard for me to express myself in a healthy way as I always bottle up everything inside, I got so used to people leaving that it scares me to death to hold on to anyone .
We live in a selfish world. It’s a pity we all learn the hard way.

Salvation of a Nation

Different life stories I have heard and others that I have read, and for a second there it got me thinking of the kind of stories that I will leave behind. What was my life like in the eyes of other people?
This thought haunted me the whole day; unfortunately I already had the answer to that and it was crystal clear; it doesn’t take a genius to see that I was always walking on the tips of my toes ,beneath me was broken glass, around me burnt down walls, flames had eaten everything up and left nothing but dark ashes.
I still don’t understand why. I wish I could find answers to such a question.
Why do you keep insisting that he is your salvation? Why does such a little thought come between such a great friendship and the end of one?
It really bugs me that you have chosen that way, instead of walking with me on the same one;yet realizing that there is still a fork between both roads. I respect the path that leads you to your salvation and you respect mine, but without the need to even part.
I still don’t get why you acted this way, are you THAT scared of change? That terrified of being different?
And for me, I said it once and I’ll say it a thousand times again:”t doesn’t matter what your beliefs are as long as you have ones.”

Identity crisis

For unknown reasons, I have accustomed myself to the state of loneliness, and no matter how many people I am surrounded by this feeling haunts me.
There is always a corner of my mind that never wants to blend in, that enjoys being a flower on the wall, a corner that wants to be forgotten.
Nobody likes to feel this way and no one should.
It’s a burden that never seems to part me; and every time I remember that I can never be my true self in a society that is ruled by tradition, it suffocates me even more.
Freedom, no, it does not exist.
I don’t make my own decisions, they are made for me; all the dreams I have, all the places I wish to visit and all the people I miss, I may never have, visit, or see any of these. My life is an oral contract; the repetition of words, the many promises made that will never be delivered and in a bold underlined font it is obvious that is just an identity crisis.