Past syndrome

Would it be okay if I just flip the coin?
Would it be okay if I just rip those pages out?
Would it be okay if I erase all the words I said?
Would it?
In an ideal world, I wouldn’t even have to ask for permission.
What other side of the coin?
What pages when they will be replaced by others?
What words when I know how loud they echo?
What for?
In an ideal world, where no shred of emotion is shown?
Would it be okay if I curl up in my pile of coins, drown myself in the pages of my past and replay the words that are wearing me down?
In an ideal world the past doesn’t follow you to the future, it doesn’t bother you, it only watches you from a distance.
But does it really??